For a very long time, it was the stigma that when it was mentioned in the news that someone was sexually assaulted one of the first questions that are asked is “What were they wearing?” Its as though someone wearing a bulky sweatshirt and sweatpants would not be sexually assaulted
That is so far from the truth. When I was molested I was wearing a long flannel “Little House On The Prairie” nightgown. My rape I was wearing a t-shirt and knee length shorts. My gang rape I was wearing jeans and a concert T-shirt.
So what I wore did not “validate” being sexually assaulted. These crimes happened because of the choices the violators made. None of them happened because “I” did something.
I found the below picture on the internet. It is so powerful. It is a display of what survivors were wearing when they weere assaulted.
Victim blaming is HORRIBLE. The word YOU is included in this interrogation. Putting emphasis on what the survivor was doing. ‘What were YOU doing?” What were YOU wearing?” As a society, we point the finger at the survivor and don’t question anything about the violator. “Why did that person do it?” We need to interrogate the accused and not the survivor.
Modesty vs sexual arousal
Modesty is something that I strive for. I have a low self-esteem so it is difficult for me to show much skin from shoulders to hip. There is a strong conviction by some people that women should be modest to protect men from sexual arousal.
That belief frustrates me so much. It is not a woman’s fault if a man is tempted. Someone could wear sweats that show the outline of their body. It is not their fault if a man concentrates on the curves of her waist.
That man should be responsible for controlling their own sexual arousal. They need to walk away or do whatever it is necessary to control that desire. It is not that woman’s fault for her body frame or what a man is aroused by.
A statement that makes my skin crawl is when a man says “Look what you to me” as he points to his crotch area. If I just walked into the room it is not my responsibility or fault of your sexual arousal. I get frustrated every time I hear that statement
WE NEED TO STOP VICTIM BLAMING!!!
When someone is robbed we don’t question what they were wearing or if they were displaying money.
WE NEED TO STOP VICTIM BLAMING!!!
