Numerous times when I tell someone I struggle with panic attacks and anxiety I will hear the question “What does a panic attack feel like”. That can be a difficult question to answer.
It can be difficult because it is hard to put the feelings and emotions into words. It can also be difficult because there are not standard symptoms that everyone struggles with. It is based on individual struggles.
I can remember my first panic attack I ever remember. But I did not realize that it was a panic attack until I began to have that same reaction to similar situations. So now I can say that those were the symptoms I have when having a panic attack.
I was at work and there were about 4 co-workers huddled around my desk working on a spreadsheet. My head started tingling. It felt like my head was rattling. My heart was beating really hard and fast. My clothes felt tight. And I felt very agitated at my co-workers as they were making a suggestion for me to make to the spreadsheet.
I jumped up in a hurry, grabbed a can of soda and ran outside. I shook up the soda, opened it and threw it in the parking lot. It felt so good to throw that soda because it was doing what I felt like I needed to do. EXPLODE. Just yell scream, hit something or just escape.
Like I said before I did not realize that this was one of my first panic attacks until I saw a repeat of the symptoms. But once I could see the pattern I was able to be aware of the symptoms and either leave that situation that was causing the symptoms or just be aware and just talk myself through the situation.
A few weeks ago I went to a concert with my daughter. We got there after the concert started so we were walking into a dark arena. I started to panic. But I just reassured myself that I was safe and that I would be okay. It took a little while but I was able to calm down.
At the end of the concert, I decided to wait until everyone left the seating area before I walked out so I would not have to walk through a big crowd. But that meant I would see everyone walk past me. So I decided to lean back with my head against the wall, close my eyes and just take a big breath. I am sure some people may have thought I was drunk. But I did not care. I knew I needed to do that to be able to be successful. And I was. I was SUCCESSFUL.
I feel that I am at a place in my healing that my panic attacks don’t have me. I have them under control. Take Care. Much Love
