Session 7
Last Wednesday blog I shared about wondering if there are any good soldiers
https://www.fromvictimtovictorious1.com/are-there-any-good-soldiers-out-there/
After that session I wrote a letter to all 12 of the soldiers involved in my gang rape. It was so powerful to write directly to each one of them to basically make each of the responsible for what happened to me.
This is a very powerful letter
Untrustable Soldiers
For so many of the years, I’ve only written a letter to the aviation soldier to the soldier who befriended me for two months before coming into the situation that leads to the gang rape. I always put all the blame on him because he was the one that invited me over and yes he had responsibility and I don’t take that away from him but every person that was in that room that night had a responsibility to protect me to take care of me to show me safety for every single one of them failed to protect me, to make sure that I received Care, to make sure that I was safe, and just to be able to take care of me.
- To the soldier who saw that I had too much to drink You did not have my best interest at heart. You did not protect me and show me that I would be OK you never tried to stop me from drinking anymore
- To the soldier who yelled LOCK THE DOOR. You knew what was going what was to happen. You had a pivotal role in how that evening would play out. And not once did you stop it from happening
3&4. To the two soldiers who locked the door and blocked it with your body. You took that command like your life was at state. Someone’s life was at state because of what you did. It was not your life that would change that night. It was my life that would never be the same again. But you did not think about that, did you? And of course, you were just doing what you were being told. But you see it was not a general order that was being given. You had a choice of stopping the gang rape from happening. But you instead did nothing.
- To the soldier who pushed me to the bed. As I fell back, I hit my head on the bunk. Not once did you check on me to see if I was okay. Instead you used your larger statue to dominate over me by pushing a 125lb female to the bed. I bet that made you feel almighty having control over a drunk female.
6 & 7 To the 2 soldiers that held my legs apart so that I did not fight against the guys that were raping me. How could you sit there pulling my legs apart knowing that your battle buddies were raping me against my will?
8–10. To All the soldiers that basically stood around watching your battle buddies raping me and not one of you attempted to stop them. And what’s even worse was the fact you then participated. That sickens me to think that there were 12 soldiers in that room and not one of you had conscience enough to stop for a minute and even think “wow what we are doing this is not a good idea to be raping a semi-conscious drunk girl.”
- To the soldier who grabbed me and threw me outside after all 12 of you raped me. It was as though you didn’t even have a conscience it was like you were just throwing away the trash there was no human consideration for the fact that you and all your battle buddies just raped me and you were now grabbing me by my arm and throwing me outside. But then all of a sudden, you’re worried when you throw me against a tree, and I smacked my mouth now for 1/2 of a second you acted like a human and realized I might have gotten hurt. But then you immediately went back to being a heartless and you just left me laying there with my clothes to dress and get myself together so that I can make it home. I had to stand there alone picking up my clothes just like I’ve had to pick up the pieces of my broken life that you and all your battle buddies shattered that night when you made the decision to gang raped me.
- To the soldier who walked out of the Barracks and stood there watching me in such an embarrassing moment, I’m trying to get my clothes together. How could you do that how could you just stand there knowing that your battle buddies had just raped me and you probably were even in on it but now you’re trying to be human and help me walk home? But I also realize the chivalry is dead because you weren’t worried about my safety all you were worried about is making sure that I didn’t report this to the police or even to the hospital. You have nothing to worry about I wasn’t going to report it because I was ashamed at that moment of the decisions that I made I blamed myself for walking into those Barracks and I blamed myself for drinking.
After having over 29 years of reflection I realize I’m not to blame for none of that. All 12 of you are to blame none of you stopped this situation from unloading at any moment any of you could’ve stopped it but instead all 12 of you were in on it and continued to shatter my life piece by piece.
Because of what you guys did to me that night for many years I have had the thought process that there is no such thing as a good soldier because there was not one of the 12 of you tried to stop what happened that night but luckily over time I have been able to pick up those pieces and realize that you guys were just a bad dozen. But I now realize there are good soldiers out there I must be more cautious and conscience to realize to look and see that there are good veterans and soldiers out there. Your bad apples didn’t spoil the bunch
This letter holds so much power. It was a letter I never realized that I needed to write. I look forward to what other letters will be formed because of this pivotal letter.
To GOD Be The GLORY. Take Care Much Love
