After getting baptised I prayed that GOD would bring a GODLY man into my life. Now looking back 17 years I realized that in my heart my hopes was that Dennis would change his heart, study the bible and get baptized. And when that did not happen I gave up on GOD.
Dennis lived in California and I lived in Ohio when I got baptized. I was so hopeful that he would be interested in studying the bible. He studied for a little while but decided he was not interested.
I became hopeless so instead of being GOD focus I became ME focused. I starting talking to Dennis and really not hanging out with people at church to establish relationships there. About 3 years after getting baptized I got married. I still believed that I was following GOD. I continued to go to church for about 1more year but my heart was not fully into GOD.
I stopped going to church in 2005. I made excuses that the church was not being loving. But the truth is that my heart was hard. I started going back to my old ways of cursing, getting angry quickly and just not really make Jesus First.
During the next two years is when Dennis anger made another abrupt entrance into our lives and we started having major issues in our relationship. After the divorce and the homeless shelter I really started to evaluate my relationship with GOD. I prayed to GOD so much during this timeframe. JUst asking for his protection during these hard times. He protected us so much during that time.
In April 2007 I started going back to church. It was at this time I realize how much I had hurt GOD. This is when my hard heart began to soften and I really went after my relationship with GOD and fully committing myself to my relationship with him.
I will not say I am glad I turned my back on GOD. I will say that I needed to go through those challenges to realized how much I had hurt GOD and did what I wanted. I now know GOD has a plan for me and I just need to be patient and faithful to him. GOD Be The Glory.
