After I was done with the first day of “Healing In Hampton” I decided to go to Boston Market for dinner. If you have never been this is a cafeteria style fast food. There was a long line and I was okay with that. I patiently waited my turn to let them know what I wanted as my entree. I wanted meatloaf.
I got up there told the person I wanted meatloaf they placed it on a plate and moved on to the people behind me. There was supposed to be an employee to do the side dishes but somehow that person went to do something else. So my meatloaf plate continued to be pushed further to the right as the entree person was getting entrees for more people behind me.
I began to get frustrated but I tried to calm myself down. But then a “side dish” employee came along and started getting side dishes for the people behind me. I began to get physically upset. I was trying to keep a lid on it but that was not working
I finally spoke up and said something along the lines of “Excuse me when is someone going to get my sides you keep getting the people behind me and I have not gotten my sides.” I began crying because I could not keep it together.
I slide down the line to prepare to pay. and the “side dish” person gives me a cup and says to enjoy my meal on them. I was grateful for that. I get to my table and just started balling. I was embarrassed that I got upset over a line and meatloaf.
But at that moment I realized it was about more than meatloaf. This was a very exhausting emotional day for me. I was volunteering myself to heal. I had opened up many memories and wounds. So by the time I got to Boston Market, I just wanted to eat and download but it was not that simple.
So I allowed myself to cry myself into a whale cry. I did not care who saw me or did not . I just needed to reflect on the day and how I felt. And that is exactly what I did for the next 45 minutes as I ate my dinner and just sat there.
This run-in at Boston Market made me realize that I am going to have more days like this as I go through this healing process and it is okay if the outside world thinks I am getting upset about meatloaf. Because I know the truth that this is about more than meatloaf.
To GOD Be The GLORY. Take Care Much Love.
