I think as humans when we are faced with trials and tribulations it is so easy for us to “run away” from our problems. Rather it is to ignore them, dismiss them or try to move. No matter what our escape plan is they will follow us.
I think that is one reason why I moved so many times after getting off active duty. I thought if I just continued to move and ignore my traumas that I would never have to deal with them. But every time I moved and packed up the boxes it was like my traumas just hopped in a box.
They may not make an immediate appearance but sooner or later they will show up unannounced and uninvited. Once I realized this it made it easier to face my trials and tribulations. I am not saying it is easy but it is definitely better to face it when it first happens. Because if you don’t face it when it happens it will begin to be like a small snowball going down a hill. It will begin to get bigger and it will increase in speed and before you know it it will knock you down and lay you flat on your back.
I think that is why the monster in the closet (not dealing with my traumas) got so big is because I thought if I just locked the closet the monster could not escape. But I still fed it with my insecurities, triggers, and thoughts. So that monster went from Gizmo from Gremlins to Sully from Monster Inc. It got so big it could not be contained in the closet. Now the monster is Gizmo again. And I know how to keep him that size. I don’t feed him or let him see light. I don’t try running away because he will follow.
Take Care Much Love.
