Relationships are not easy things for me. Partially because I am an Air Force Brat so I really did not learn the “skills” of friendship as a kid. Either we were moving or the “friend” was moving.
And even with me being in the military I really did not establish strong relationships. I can say I have 3 friends that I have to know for over 20 years. A childhood friend who coincidentally we share the same birthday. A friend from the Army that a lot of people say we look alike. And then a third friend who was my next door neighbor when I was pregnant with Bethanie and she was pregnant at the same time. But even with those friendships, they are not really deep. We touch base with each other every now and again.
So when I moved to Dayton almost 18 years ago it took me many years to establish the deep friendships. I had a hard time trusting and feeling safe in some of those relationships.
So as I was preparing to move to Charleston I was getting anxious about “starting over” in friendships. I began to get hesitant because I knew it would not be an easy task. But I pushed myself to hang out with whoever I could so to lay the foundation.
I realized in doing this that people have a different way of communicating and spending time together. For me, I am not a big game person. I will play unstructured games such as Pictionary or Charades. But when it comes to board games I steer aware of them. I like to have fun to play games. I guess I am not a rule follower. I will follow the basics of a game but I don’t get too serious about the rules so I have a hard time playing games where there could be some serious rule following. I am a rebel lol
I was hanging out with a sister in the church the other day and we were carrying on a conversation but it was a very slow pace. She would ask a question and I would answer and she would just contemplate what I said. Or vice versa I would ask a question and she would think for a minute what the answer was. There is nothing wrong with that. I just realized we have 2 different types of communication styles.
As most of you know I like analogies so I thought of it in another way. My communication style is like playing ping-pong. I hit a question towards the other person and want the answer hit back and just to continue the conversation in that style. While the other sister communication style is more like playing a game of chess. I make a statement and she studies it out and decides what her answer is going to be.
So I realized that not everyone is playing the same game of communication. That is totally fine. It’s just I have to figure out how to play chess in a way that it is like ping-pong. Definitely learning new things.
To GOD Be The GLORY
Take Care Much Love
