A few weeks ago I went to Victoria Secrets with Bethanie. We walked in the door and all of a sudden a distant memory came into my thoughts. It was definitely a hard memory to think about. But I was able to process it and realize I have gotten over that stuck moment that I was in back then.
A few years ago Bethanie asked me to go to “An After Hours Event” at Victoria Secret for exclusive members. I did not think anything of it and told her I would go with her. So we get to the mall about an hour before the event was to start. The line was halfway down the mall already.
I began to feel my head getting tingly and my heart beating out of my chest. I realized I was starting to have a panic attack. I was trying everything I could think of to reassure myself that I would be okay.
The doors finally opened and we started moving into the store. I was still able to keep myself calm. We get in the store and I am still okay. Then all of a sudden I turn around to look at the door and there are still people packing into the store.
At that moment I realized I was no longer able to calm myself down. I was in full-fledged panic attack mode. I told Bethanie to go do her shopping and I would be okay. I held onto the big dresser they have in the middle of the floor, closed my eyes and let the tears roll down my face. I remember at one moment I hear the voice of a Sales Rep. She asked me if I was okay. I just stated I was having a panic attack. She asked if I wanted to go somewhere else. I told her no. Because I know me.
I feel defeated if I walk away from the place of the panic attack. If I walk away from that place I feel like the panic attack has won. But if I plant my feet into that foundation and just get through the panic attack I feel like I conquered the panic attack.
That is exactly what I did. I got through the panic attack. Wiped my face off, found Bethanie, helped her finish her shopping and left the store. Like I said that was about 3 years ago. I have not thought about it since it happened until I walked into the store again with Bethanie last week. And when I thought about it I was able to be proud of myself for not getting stuck in the moment and being able to conquer the panic attack.
Take Care. Much Love.
