There are many types of dreams. Dreams of things we hope for. Dreams things that we fear. Dreams that are mind-boggling that you wake up scratching your head trying to figure out what that dream means.
For me, I have had a series of dreams that have been mind-boggling. Not only do I usually scratch my head trying to figure out what the dreams mean. I continue to try to analyze the dreams and try to understand what they mean.
Over the last 11 years, I have had what I call reoccurring dreams. It is not necessarily the same dream on repeat in my head, It has the same people in it but it is different scenarios and situations.
I have had a series of dreams where I am in different places: the beach, an amusement park, a rest stop, the grocery store and even a hospital. Then all of a sudden I see BG (my first husband) When I see him I get the butterflies. So excited to see him. In a few of these dreams, he has rejected me and told me not to contact him. But the majority of these dreams he is so receptive to seeing me. He is excited to see me too.
In these dreams, there is not usually intimacy(sex, kissing, or even holding hands) It is usually just feeling the butterflies (like back when I first met him). We usually are just talking. Hanging out or just being in each others presence.
Usually, these dreams end at a point when we start talking about seeing each other again or even the possibility of a future friendship and/or relationship. Each time I wake up from another one of these dreams I scratch my head wondering “Why am I having these dreams about BG?”
I have talked with my therapist Beautiful Butterfly numerous times trying to evaluate what these dreams mean. Am I fantasizing about being with him again? Do I hope he is not still married in hopes of a relationship? Am I trying to live with the what if’s? Or is this a wish my heart makes?
One thing I have realized through analyzing these dreams is that the last time I felt safe, loved and protected 100% is when I was married to BG. And those feelings I remember when I wake up from these dreams. I feel safe and protected. Each and every time I wake up feeling those feeling. I long to feel those feelings.
I am not 100% but maybe it is not necessarily seeing BG that I am dreaming about but the fact of feeling safe, loved and protected. Maybe my subconscious is dreaming of these dreams because I long to rekindle these feeling deep inside me again.
This is one dream that I long to come true in my life. To feel safe, loved and protected. Maybe one day….. Take Care. Much Love.
