Growing up I reminded often by my dad “Real Men Do Not Cry”. And that statement held true, especially about my dad. As a kid, I only saw my dad cry the day he found his mom died. Even that was not a full-blown breakdown of tears. I could tell he was emotionally hit by it but still did not see a full onset of tears.
My dad would “pretend cry” all the time. Just over dramatically acting like his was crying but never anything sincere. I got used to the lack of emotions in my family. Especially sadness or anything that may cause a tear to be shed. I never expected to see my dad ever cry and I came to terms with it.
When I was preparing to leave for Basic Training I was catching a Greyhound bus to Cincinnati, I would stay the night, have my physical and then go to the airport to head to Ft Jackson. My family was planning to come to the airport to see me the next day. So saying bye to my family at the Greyhound station was just a short bye so I did not really get emotional. I knew the next day would be hard.
The next day I was at the airport waiting for my family to hang out with me before getting on the plane. My mom, dad, and sister arrived about an hour prior to the flight. So we were just hanging out. Then the flight was beginning to board. I began to say my byes. Trying to keep it together. I give my dad a hug and he then says. “You know I cried yesterday when you left the Greyhound station” I rolled my eyes in disbelief. I figured it was the “pretend cry” he was talking about. My dad then says “Ask your sister” I look at my sister and she had a very serious look on her face as she shook her head yes. I got a lump in my throat and trying to swallow my tears. I look back at my dad and he now has tears streaming down his face. I lost it. This was the first time in my 18 years of life I have seen my dad cry. And to know he was crying because of me. I was almost in a river of tears. It was so bad that the chaperone who was responsible for “delivering” me to Ft Jackson began tugging at me to start board. She later told me on the plane she was afraid I was not going to board. That thought never crossed my mind. I had every intention of following my dreams to go into the Army. It was just the fact that my dad shared his true emotions in a moment I was not expecting. That simple act showed me that I meant something to my dad. And that I was worth the tears he had been holding onto.
I think men feel that they are weak if they cry. I feel the opposite. I feel that a man is strong if he is in tune with his emotions and is able to express how he is feeling. It has been over 28 years since that day. Since then I have seen my dad cry 2 more times. I will commend my dad that he has gotten better at expressing his feelings and emotions. Real Men Do Cry. Re Men Show Emotions. Take Care Much Love
