For a very long time, I have had a hard time looking at any pictures of myself as a child. I did not have an aha moment about the reason until after I began going to therapy and started to heal
What I realized was that I had a hard time looking at those pictures because they reminded me of my traumas. But also lookings at those pictures caused me to do time travel and go back to those dark times in my life.
Over time it has become easier to actually look at those pictures. I can now look at those pictures and realize that girl suffered a lot. But then I look into the mirror and realize the girl from the pictures is now the strong woman I see in the reflection of the mirror
Another struggle I have had looking at those pictures is realizing that that girl had so many dreams for her life. She wanted to be an x-ray technician. She wanted to get married, have children and grow old with her husband. She wanted to be financially stable. Not to have to struggle very much.
But her life journey took her down a different path. She was not able to become an x-ray tech. She got married and divorced twice. For a very long time, I beat myself up because those two dreams did not come true.
After beginning to heal I had to come to terms with the fact that sure I did not accomplish those goals. But I have had a life full of accomplishments. I have 2 amazing daughters and a grandson that has stolen my hear. I have healed from some really hard traumas in my life. And I am now able to share my life story with others to give them hope for their own healing process.
I can now accept and realize that the life I have lived is the life that GOD wanted me to live and that is what matters.
Take Care Much Love
