For a very long time, I struggled with calling myself a Veteran and even going out to the VA Hospital. I associated the word Veteran as a negative thing. I did not want to be associated with the men who raped me. And I definitely did not want to be around them at the VA Hospital.
It took me until October 2016 to heal enough to be able to call myself a Veteran. It happened at a crazy moment (GOD’s Timing) My son-in-law was graduating Basic Training and we went to Georgia to celebrate. We were at an Army Surplus store and I saw a “Proud Veteran” keychain. I decided to buy it. It actually took me about another year before I actually put it on my keys. I was so proud to know that I was “ready” to let the world know I served this country proudly.
It took me even longer to finally fully acknowledge and thank other Veterans. The High School the girls went to has been doing a “Veterans Day History Day” I have been going for about 5 years now. But I still struggle with acknowledging the other Veterans as Veterans. Especially the men I am tempted to label them as a rapist. But listening to their stories of their time in the military it softens my heart. I began to appreciate them as Veterans.
The finally step happened when Lilie graduated from Basic Training. One of her Battle Buddies Grandfather gave her a little Ziploc bag that had a star from an American flag and a short poem:
I am part of our American flag that has flown over the USA
I can no longer fly.
The sun and wind caused me to become tattered and torn.
Please carry me as a reminder that
You are not forgotten.
StarsForOurTroops.org
That little gesture was so powerful to me. So I research the organization. As a veteran, you can get 50 bags for free. Active Duty can get 100. They don’t charge anything. They request a donation. So I obliged and got 150 for me and Lilie.
I began handing them out every time I saw a veteran that had a hat on. It was hard at first. But now I proudly can look them in the eyes and say
“I just want to thank you for serving our county. Here is a star from an American flag to let you know that you are not forgotten. Thank you for your service”
I then shake their hand and move on. I don’t even think or wonder about the gang rape. At that moment I am merely thanking a veteran for serving our country. On Friday I will go to the Veterans Day History Day at the high school and I will be able to proudly sit amongst other Veterans. Take Care Much Love.
