Session 11
WOW!! Just like every other session so much was learned in this session. The big thing that stood out was as I was speaking about the actual gang rape I realize that there are people carrying on conversations. There are people watching a football game.
How can they be carrying on with life as I am being raped repeatedly? I am yelling and screaming. I am hitting the wall but no one responds. I feel like I am not being heard. Like I don’t have a voice.
This AHA moment means so much as I discover. I struggle so much when I am talking to someone and they are not reacting to the conversation or they are not even paying attention to what I am saying. I get defensive. I get hurt by that.
I feel like I react that way because it takes me back to a time when I really wanted and hoped that someone would hear my voice and respond.
- I just want to be heard.
- I want to have validation.
- I want people to be sympathetic and empathic.
- I want to know that someone is there for me.
All these things are what I wanted then and I still crave them in normal life. And that is why
- I get upset when someone interrupts a conversation I am having with another person
- I get offended when something else gets someone’s attention that I am talking to
- I get upset when someone says they did not hear what I was saying.
I want to be heard. I wanted it 29 years ago. And I still want it now.
To GOD Be The GLORY. Take Care. Much Love
