I first began therapy in 2007. And just like a wound that infected healing can be very raw. I would struggle at church. It sounds so crazy because at that time I had been going to the same church for around 7 years and knew most of the people that attended.
I would begin to have a panic attack and I would try to make a big deal. I would go in the hallway. Cry, breathing exercises or whatever else that I could think of to get me through the moment.
Sometimes people would come check on me. I never asked them to. They were just concerned because I left the fellowship. Sometimes they would bring me water or kleenex or just prayed with me. I appreciated these women for thinking of me and checking on me.
A sister in leadership approached me one day and said I was “seeking attention” That I was causing others to miss service to check on me. I tried not to get defensive.
I could have allowed that situation to cause me to get bitter. But I used it to make me better. To rise above those that did not understand. This same sister made a statement that “This happened to you over 20 years ago, I don’t understand why you are having issues with it now”
With this sister saying these two
I realized this was her issue and not mine. It reminds me that not everyone can or will be supportive and that is totaly fine. I use to try to repeatly explain to people what I go through until I was blue in the face. But like I said some people will never understand. And I pray they never have to go through something traumatic.
- To GOD Be The GLORY. Take Care. Much Love
