Throughout my 12 year relationship with Dennis, there were numerous time frames that he did not have a job. He either quit or was let go for different reasons. These times were extremely difficult for me.
I basically became the breadwinner for our family. All the household responsibilities were weighed on my shoulders. That was such pressure. Especially since my career path was not a big salary based job. I did give it a second thought. I knew I needed to provide for my girls so I just did it.
During these times of Dennis not having a job was definitely difficult. I would get up, get the girls ready for daycare. I would drop them off at daycare and then I would go to work. I would work 8 hours then pick the girls up from daycare and go home. Most of the time Dennis would be still laying in bed in the same spot he was in that morning. I could tell he barely go up out of bed so I knew he had not even left the house most of the time.
Throughout this 2-year time frame of Dennis not finding consistent work I would repeat the routine of taking the girls to daycare every day. I mainly did this because I never wanted Dennis to have an excuse to not find a job I.E. “I can’t find a job because I have the girls”
But making sure Dennis had no excuse basically gave him no motivation to find a job.l This frustrated me so much. To know I was doing everything I could to take care of our family and he was doing nothing.
When things got tough, I had to make the decision to continually stand in line at the food bank to try and get assistance. Dennis refused to go with me, He would not even help carry the boxes from the car because the Food Bank name was printed on the boxes. But by golly as soon as I brought those boxes in the house Dennis was the first one to help himself to the content of the boxes.
Hindsight is now 20/20. I realize that I could not make Dennis find a job. I felt like I was giving him tools and opportunities to benefit him and he did not use them. There was nothing I could do for him to do anything. He had to make that choice. And he chose not to make that choice. Take Care Much Love
