Lifetraps
Why do we act the way we do?
Environment
Temperament
Parents
Core value.
Environment culture birth order
Exasperate irritate intensely; infuriate:
Bring up. To. Nourish up to maturity. To nourish
To nurture bring up
Exasperation
Belittling
Perfectionistic and conditional
Controlling
Punitive
Emotionally depriving and inhibiting
Dependent and selfish
Overprotective
Pessimistic
Overly permissive
Core emotional needs-
Connection and acceptance
Health
Autonomy and performance
Reasonable limits
Realistic expectations
Plus one Spiritual values & community.
Core needs to be required in order to have healthy growth and not hurt others or self.
Family environment affects our core needs.
When core needs are not met we develop life traps
Life traps are deeply entrenched and cause memories.
Life traps changed the way we see our selves and others.
18 lifetraps
Disconnection rejection
Social isolation alienation
Emotional deprivation
Defectiveness shame
Emotional inhibition
Failure
Mistrust/abuse
Dependence incompetence
Enmeshment I developed self
Vulnerability to harm
Abandonment
Subjugation
Negativity Persian
Entitlement grandiosity
Approval seeking recognition seeking
Insufficient self-control self-discipline
Exaggerates expectations
Unrelenting Standards/Hypercriticalness
Self-sacrifice
Punitiveness
If you want to take the test Lifetraps Test
3 coping styles
Surrender fright(I am powerless)
Avoidance flight (too painful to deal with)
Overcompensation fight (I think my life trap is not true)
Treatment plan
1 Understand and reflect (find the strong life trap and are causing harm)
2 Tap into the power of the church (Ephesians 2:21-22 /4:15-16)
Takes time. For strong life traps, it takes years
Take consistency
Commitment to church because we need to heal
Emotional health takes time slow but consistent commitment
Genuine relationships
Avoid re parenting
Get involved. Be vulnerable. Share ur weakness and fears. What u need. Share feelings appropriately. It is unhealthy to not express vulnerability
See god as meeting your core emotional needs. Shift ur view of god. God is the perfect parent. Luke 6:27-28
Journal patterns of current unhealthy relationships i.e. Household parents work place.
Use journaling to evaluate current situation. See patterns. Get a reality check to see if u are misreading situations. Get honest healthy feedback.
Process ur anger appropriately
Begin the process of forgiveness. Decide to forgive parents environment and others
Imagery exercise. Experiential process to heal emotional hurt
Accept you seek. With all your weakness and strength. Seek a balance.
It’s not the power of the course life traps it’s the power u give the life traps
MediaTate on the appropriate metaphors if god
It is easy to go toward what is easy and comfortable
Reinventing your life Jeffrey e young
Good enough parenting John Phillip.
