Shortly after my divorce from Dennis, I went to the Veterans Voc Rehab Center. Aside from the VA Hospital, this organization helps Veterans know what benefits are out there. I go to this meeting to find out about going back to school.
This short black guy comes in the room. He introduces his self as a PTSD therapist. He is more talking to Combat Veterans. But some of the symptoms he was mentioning sounded similar to things I was struggling with. So after the class, I set up an appointment to speak with him. He would soon be known as my Gentle Giant
When I sat down with him it was the first time I had told a “professional” about my sexual traumas. Especially my Military Sexual Trauma (MST). It was so scary to be talking about it to someone. At the same time, it felt so freeing to talk out loud and share my story.
For about the next 18 months I would see my Gentle Giant every week. There was so much purging of all the yuck that I had stuffed down. Sometimes I would cry and vow that I would not come back because it was so hard. But I knew just like a physical infection I would need to rip the scab off, clean it out quite a few time until it began to heal.
It has been 27 years since my Military Sexual Trauma. But I did not immediately get help to heal. This month marks 10 years of being in therapy. It has not been easy but it has definitely been healing. I have realized that I will never be completely healed. There will always be triggers and setbacks
. But as long as I am making a step forward I am still going forward. Take Care. Much Love
