Today, there is less of doing things for others and more about keeping score. “I bought her a $50 shirt and all she bought me was a t-shirt from Walmart” It’s all about getting validation for ourselves. The person in the above example may have overlooked the fact that the shirt that was gifted had their favorite character on it. So, to me, that is more of a personal gift because the giver thought of the receiver in buying the gift. The $50 shirt was just name brand.
I feel like we should just treat others the way we wanted to be treated. It should not be a mental list of what you have done for them and what they have not done for you.
I personally do not like the Holiday Season #1 The reason for the season is forgotten. #2 Receivers are usually not grateful for even the thought. I stopped giving gifts to extended family because they were either not grateful or I found out they took it back because they did not like it. I usually just buy 1 gift for each my girls, son-in-law, and grandson. I would rather spend time with them than spend money on them.
We have a tradition for Christmas morning. I make Dutch Pancakes, we open gifts, play saran wrap ball (a saran wrap ball of trinkets/gag gifts/money/gift cards) and we go to the movies. Not a big spectacular event. I want to remember the moments I spent and not the money I spent.
I have a friend that every time there is a disagreement will bring up something that they did for me over 15 years ago. I am very grateful for what they did for me. I feel like I expressed it at the moment. But if you must go back 15 years to when you did something for someone are you there for them now.
I ABSOLUTELY HATE KEEPING SCORE. My girls went through the typical “You love her more phase” Trying to be funny I would say “No I dislike you both the same” But seriously I told them both that I would “keep” score of time and money spent on each for one month and we could compare it. They both said no because they knew it may be a little bit of a difference but not a huge difference. This week I might spend more time with daughter A but next week I might spend more time with daughter B.
When you keep score, no one wins. You are so busy tallying up the score and you are missing them sitting there spending time with you.
We need to stop keeping score and start spending more time making memories.
Take Care
Much Love
