While I was married to BG we were trying to have a baby with no luck. So we had to see a fertility specialist at Ft Riley & then we went to Ft Carson to see another specialist. I was told by both Doctors that I would have difficulties getting pregnant on my own. I would need to take fertility pills to help get pregnant. Me & BG marriage ended soon after this diagnosis. I feel like that had some to do with our divorce.
I gave this information to Dennis when we first started dating in 1994. About 1 month after Dennis moved to Ohio after leaving the Army I thought I might be pregnant since I missed my period. I took a pregnancy test…. IT WAS POSITIVE!!!
I was so excited. From the get go Dennis questioned the truth about me being able to have children. He would drop sarcastic remarks
“You said you could not get pregnant I guess it was just another lie”
“You are just trying to trap me”
“Someone told me they could not have kids”
All these negative comments I allowed to steal my joy and happiness. But I had to not allow Dennis or his comments to take away the happiness I was feeling. Obviously, GOD had a plan for me to have children naturally. Because I got pregnant with both of my girls without fertility pills.
It did bother me that Dennis would think I would try to “trap” him. To me, that is a crazy concept. To even think I could try to get someone to stay with me just because I was having their child. Did I want Dennis to raise our children with me?” SURE But was I trying to get him to stay? NO. If that was my plan obviously it did not work. LOL, We got divorced when the girls were 7 & 9 years old.
For many years I allowed Dennis thinking to control me. I am not sure why. I knew that what he thought was not what I was thinking. I had always dreamed of being a mom and I should not have allowed him to make me feel guilty for that. His thinking was just that HIS. I had to learn to not own it. It was not mine to own. What was mine to own was that I was the mother of 2 girls? My dream came true and I have been happy raising my girls and now being a Mimi. No longer am I trapped by someone else’s thoughts. Take Care Much Love
