About 5 years ago I was having lunch with a friend.  I was sharing with her that I had been struggling seeing God’s presences, purpose, and plan for my life.  This friend shared that she had been struggling with those same thoughts a few years before.  She went on to share that she prayed to GOD during that time that she would be able to see his presence in her life. Within a few weeks of praying to GOD, she was at an aquarium and a dolphin swam right up to her and looked her in her eyes.  She shared with me that she loves dolphins.  So she knew that the dolphin swimming right up to her and looking at her was a gift from GOD.

So I went home that night a started to pray to GOD that I would feel his presence in my life.   I would continuously look around me to see if I could find my “sign” from GOD.  But I never really felt the gift around me.

Then one day I was reflecting on New Year’s Eve coming up.  Usually, my mind would go straight to the trigger of remembering that I was molested on that date.  But this time my mind simultaneously went to 2 different places.  Not only did I think about this negative triggers but at the same moment I thought about the fact that NYE is my Spirthday day (My spiritual birthday, the day I got baptized)

I know it may seem crazy but before that moment I had never put it together that GOD turned a negative date into a positive date.  For so many years I had been stuck in the moment of always associating NYE with my sexual trauma instead of embracing and celebrating the day that God chose for me to be reborn.

The day you get baptized you leave the old self in the water.  You wash away your sins.  You are new again.  You wash away all the bad from your life.  This is where I was stuck for a very long time and can still get stuck.  To leave all the bad from my life in that water.  To not take it with me.

I am still working on this to this day.  I really make an effort on my spirthday to celebrate with sisters that I am close to.  To really celebrate the day that I was added to GOD’s kingdom

So to me the fact that GOD took a negative date and turned it into a positive date is my gift from GOD.

December 31, 2000  Happy 17th Spirthday to Me!!

To GOD Be The GLORY