Runs in the family
When we hear the statement “It runs in the family” we usually think about diseases. Below is a list of the diseases that run in the family. If we know that there are family members that have these diseases we are more wanting to talk to them. To see how they handled the diagnoses. What type of treatment the tried, what worked for them and maybe even how they are now.
Alzheimer’s disease/dementia
arthritis
asthma
blood clots
cancer
depression
diabetes
heart disease
high cholesterol
high blood pressure
pregnancy losses and birth defects
stroke.
One thing I don’t see on this list is Sexual Trauma. By no means am I saying that if sexual trauma has happened to family members that you are more likely for it to happen to you. Sexual trauma is never your fault. What I am trying to point out that it can be generational how it is handled in a family.
If a family member knows that you have had a sexual trauma they usually will not talk to you about it. Sexual Trauma is not something that we seek advice about or talk about. I am not saying it must be the main conversation at Christmas.
I feel that if family talked about this subject more especially for those that have been impacted by it. I think we could start to not feel alone. To feel that we have someone to process how we feel about it.
I don’t have all the facts but I know that there are quite a few of my family members that have been impacted by sexual trauma. It is not something anyone talks about. If it is brought up it is mentioned in passing like trying the newest Oreo cookie flavor. I was talking to a family member telling them that Wilbert had raped me when I was 13. She said yes, my brother raped me. That was it. I am not sure if she was trying to relate, or to blow it off like “it happens to get over it” But it was very shallow. No emotions.
I feel like the black sheep of my family because I am emotionally connected and I talk about it. I try to let my family know when I am doing a speech or something in the public eye just so they are aware of it. Very rarely do I get validation about it. I am not expecting a huge celebration but at least a brief conversation about it.
Just like when a disease from the list above effects our family we need to learn to talk about sexual trauma. Because if we don’t talk about it, we are let it win. We should not be ashamed.
Take Care
Much Love
