I have realized over time that I have a hard time looking at pictures of myself before the age of 20. I feel like it is hard for me to look at those pictures especially because I can see the potentials in my eyes in those pictures. I was hopeful of what life would be for me. In the last 2 pictures, I can see so much pain in my eyes
This first picture is exgtremeley hard because it is pre-trauma. I was about 5 years old. I was an innocent child just excited to play outside with my sister.
This second picture I had just turned 17. I can feel so much pain in this picture. I had had 2 sexual traumas before this picture. 5 months before this picture I had been hospitalized for attempted suicide. I wish I could reach through and give this give a hug.
This third picture is my official Army picture. It was taken about 15 months before my MST. In this picture I see so much promise in my eyes. I was so confident that I would serve my country for 20 years and I was on a mission.
I have also realized in looking at these pictures that it is so hard saying goodbye and griefing the would’ve could’ve should’ve of my life. I had huge hopes and dreams and not many came true because of the struggles I had with my sexual traumas.
As hard as it has been I have had to say goodbye to what could’ve been and embrace what did happen. Life has been hard but through healing, it has been worth it.
To GOD Be The GLORY. Take Care. Much Love
