Now that I have been divorced from Dennis for over a decade I look back at our time and see so many “signs” that I did not really see back then. Or maybe I saw them but was so hoping that things would get better.
About 6 months after Bethanie was born we found a bigger apartment and decided to move. The day that we were loading the truck Dennis asked for the shared ATM card. Did not think anything of it. WHen he came back I asked what he bought. He would not tell me. So I went out to the car and found a receipt from the drug store. He had bought like 3 packs of sleeping pills. It did not dawn on me that he was trying to commit suicide until my neighbor mentioned it. I actually thought he was just trying to sleep.
After seeing him take some pills I called the police. They took him to the hospital for observation. The next day I went to pick him up. He told me I may have stopped him this time but not next time. I was so overwhelmed by moving, taking care of Bethanie, and working. So I took him to the new apartment and I went to the old apartment. I even took our 2 dogs over there hoping that would boost his spirit.
I checked on him every day. His family in California was trying to contact him but he would not respond. A few days later after the initial hospital visit, I went to the new apartment to check on him and there were an animal control truck and a police car in front of the apartment. I went to talk to them. They let me know that they came to do a welfare check and Dennis had taken every pill in the house. And the dogs had gotten out so animal control was there to get them.
This shook me to know that he attempted again. He ended up being in ICU for 5 days because some of the medication he took was causing him to have heart issues. Luckily he recovered and came home.
I was hopeful things would get better. They did for a little while. But I began to walk on eggshells again not sure what would anger him or now what would cause him to think about suicide again.
I came home from work one day and he was yelling at me as soon as I came through the door. He had Bethany in his hands. I tried to get her and he shoved me against the wall and placed his arm against my throat. I tried to get him off of me and started hitting him and the side of my hand hit the back of his head.
I immediately hear a crack and knew I had broken my hand. I went to the hospital to get a cast. When I got back he started having remorse. He said I should call the police on him. I did not want to do that. So he started throwing stuff at me. I finally called the police and they took him to jail.
He was in jail for 4 days. And then had to appear in court a few weeks later. He was put on probation and he was suggested to move back to California. And that is what he decided to do.
I was heartbroken that he was leaving but I was hopeful that it would get better and soon we would get back together. For the next 4 months, I was in the limbo stage of not knowing what the future would hold for our family. To Be Continued….
