DISCLAIMER-This is a hypothetical letter I could imagine myself writing to the Secretary of the Army. This would be a letter to share with him about the silent epidemic of Military Sexual Trauma in the Military. This is not aimed at our current Secretary of the Army just anyone that holds the title at any time in the future
Dear Secretary of the Army,
I am a proud Veteran who served 6 years on Active duty in the Army and 8 years in the Army Reserve. It was an honor for me to raise my right hand and promise to defend the amazing country I call home. When I joined the Army I had every intention of serving my country until retirement.
But that plan began to change about 18 months after enlisting. I was stationed at Camp Humphreys Korea. I was gang-raped by at least 12 military soldiers. I never pressed charges. I blamed myself for going into the barracks room willingly. I blamed myself for drinking a beer. I was 2 months from the end of my tour in Korea to be over. All I wanted to do was go home on leave, sleep in my own bed for 30 days until I would go to my next duty station.
That is exactly what I did. I had hoped I left that trauma in Korea but it started to lurk its evil head. I began to have panic attacks and moments of doubt. I was able to finish my 6-year term on Active Duty and go on to begin serving in the Army Reserves.
But still, I would have triggers and panic attacks come up. I ended up leaving the reserves after my second term was completed. Something that spurred me to leave the reserves was hearing a fellow soldier say “Any female that goes into a male barracks deserves what happened” I was done. I wrote my commander and told him I was done
It still took about 4 more years to get counseling to help me heal. And that was 10 years ago and I am still in therapy learning to heal.
I am writing this to you today to shed light on the silent epidemic of MST. Most victims do not report their MST for fear that no one will believe them. Or afraid of repercussions from their Chain Of Command. And some may be like me that ignored what happened hoping it would go away but it never does.
Also by writing this letter I wanted to put a personal connection to MST. It is not just something that we read about or numbers that we see. This epidemic has happened to me. It was not just an event in my life. It was an event that changed my life. I was not able to complete my dream of 20 years in the Army. It has caused me to regress in my life. I have had many triggers. I have had to change my life to be able to handle crowds, late night events and even a quick trip to the store
I hope reading my letter will allow you to not just think of MST as another issue in the army. But to realize that there are many MST survivors that struggle on a daily basis. Some struggle with trusting anyone affiliated with the military and government. Some struggle with addiction. Some struggle with maintaining a job, home or even providing for their basic needs such as personal hygiene or food. They are not deadbeats. They are prisoners of their own pain.
Thank you for this opportunity to read my letter. I am open and available to discuss this with anyone in your counsel. Thanks
Very Respectfully
A Veteran who proudly served her country. But ashamed of her fellow soldiers.
