Connection With Food

We always hear about comfort food food that makes us feel warm and fuzzy. Food that takes us to our happy place.

Not only do I have comfort food but I have food that takes me to an unhappy place. It has taken me a while to realize this but I’ve noticed that there are certain foods that most people are like oh my gosh I love this food or whatever but for me, those foods don’t make me happy they don’t they are foods that I almost feel like I avoid. Those two specific foods are donuts and pizza.

It’s not necessarily that I just don’t like them because of the flavor or whatever. It’s more that does foods make a connection for me for a hard time in my life.

Donuts-when I was a junior and senior in high school my mom worked at a donut shop so of course as a teenager I really wanted to have a doughnut you for breakfast. So my mom works third shift and she would bring home donuts every day and at the time I enjoyed them I enjoyed taking donuts to school. But over time seeing a donut does not bring me the happiness that it can bring other people

During that same time that I was in high school my mom worked at the donut shop my parents just finally finalize the divorce and my mom had a boyfriend who she spent a lot of time with and so she would basically come home drop off the donuts make shows up for school and then she would leave to go spend time with her boyfriend and they should come home at night to get ready to go to work so those donuts were almost trying to fill a void in my life as a food but they were able to fill the void that my mom was not there

So now I will eat donuts but I’ve said before they just aren’t that happy food that everybody else enjoys and brings a smile to my face because it brings back pain and I know that I need to get through that and over that pain

Pizza-Pizza could’ve been a comfort food during a hard time but instead, now it reminds me of a very hard time in my life. During the time that I and the girls were in a homeless shelter, the homeless shelter would have pizza every Friday and if that same time I was working for a company that had pizza every Friday. So part of me thought that I don’t care for pizza now because “I got burned out “during that time frame of having it twice in a week. But now I realize that pizza connects to a very hard time. A hard time where I was trying to keep my head above water going through a divorce, having my girls at a homeless shelter, and trying to have “a normal life “.

So when I have donuts or pizza now I think I have a hard time considering them comfort foods or happy foods because they are both connected to some difficult times in my life

I say that I don’t like donuts or pizza but honestly, I will eat them but I choose not to eat them on my own choice. And what I mean by that is if I go to somebody’s house that they’re having pizza I don’t tell them that I don’t like pizza I go ahead and eat it but it’s not usually food that I go after.

I am also realizing as I am typing this out since I use the word comfort food that most people do think of donuts and pizza is comfort/happy food. Enjoy those views those are foods that make most people happy. But for me, I think that those foods could make me happy but I’ve chosen to turn off my happy sensors to those foods because I don’t want to think of them as happy since they were a big pivotal food during some hard times in my life. But it Hass to be my choice to decide if they’re going to be happy or comfort foods for me. And that is an easy decision. I just have to make that choice