It is amazing how GOD’S plan is so different than what I had in mind for my life. As I have mentioned before that is is ultimately my dream to travel the world sharing my life story. In my narrow mind that would be me just packing my suitcase and begin to jet-set around the world.
But instead, God has given me the opportunity to do some amazing speeches for the Victim Impact Board and the Juvenile Scared Straight Programs. But the speech that has blown me aware is speaking at the local women’s prison.
A few years ago one of the Victim Advocates for the Rape Crisis Center contacted me to see if I would be interested in going to the Women’s Prison to speak. My initial thought to response was “NO!!” But I knew that was out of fear. I always believe to do a speech at least once. It is like trying a new food, you can’t say you don’t like it unless you try it. So I told her I would do it once. But also I wanted to go with the Homicide Survivors first to just get an idea of the environment.
So I went and observed the first time. I was so scared. Not sure what to expect. This program we speak with is for prisoners that are within 2 years of being released. It is an opportunity for them to take responsibility for the crime they committed and to decide to make changes in their lives.
After observing I was still scared, yet I agreed to come back the following week. I was so afraid that these women may be closed minded and judge me on the situations I had been in that my traumas happened in.
But that was so far from the truth. They were very receptive to what I had to say. After I finished speaking there was a moment of silence. And then there were so many women that had questions about how I have dealt with triggers, healing, forgiveness and other subjects. It was at that moment that I realized that many of these women have been victims of crimes and wrestle with some of the things I have.
I left that speech that night with a different view of these women. I do realize that they committed a crime that caused them to serve time in prison. I also realized that they are women who have healing of their own to do.
I have been doing this speech for about 3 years now. I go about 2-3 times a year. It is my favorite speech to do. Because I feel that these women are the most reachable of the audiences I have spoken in front of in the last 7 years. Also going to a physical prison makes me realize that we can all be imprisoned emotionally. We have to set ourselves free.
I always think about some of the women I have talked to and wonder if they have been able to begin healing. But all I can do is pray for them and continue to give it to GOD.
Take Care. Much Love
