I have been divorced for about 11 years. Or like what I like to say “renewly single” It has not been the easiest transition. Overall as crazy as it sounds it was the best pain I have endured.
I truly believe for me to have a successful healing process I needed to be single and free of stress, struggles and drama for a while. I am in awe of the healing that I have done in the last 10 years. I have been able to heal from my traumas, drama and celebrate my Llamas in Pajamas in the Bahama.
Like I said before it has not been the easiest process. Especially knowing the desires of my heart. The fact that I desire to get married to a man that will be my biggest cheerleader.
At the end of some of my speeches, I usually thank my cheerleaders. And there have been times that I imagine one day being able to thank my husband. I get a lump in my throat just imagining and hoping for that one day.
As a trauma survivor, the healing process can definitely be a roller coaster of emotions. There are times that I am able to handle triggers and setbacks. Yet there are other times that I feel like I have been hit in the gut by a trigger.
During these times I question if there is any man that would sign up for this. Because there are times that triggers cause me to lay in bed for days on end. I can barely function during these times. There are also times that I don’t want to even be touched or even talked to. And there are other times that I just want to be held and comforted.
I am hopeful that there is a man out there that is willing to love me through the pain.Who is in it to win it. Who will not have a second thought? Sure I can have my doubts. But I know that as long as I am faithful I know that GOD has a plan for me to prosper. Take Care. Much Love
