I know for most women having an annual women’s exam is not the most exciting thing we all look forward to scheduling and going to
For Me, it is a different type of struggle. It causes me to remember my gang rape. Because of my gang rape, I contracted Venereal Warts. The Venereal Warts caused me to have a strain of HPV. That strain is the Cervical Cancer. I have had the pre-cancerous cells 3 times. Because of the pre-cancerous cells, I had to have paps smear every 6 months until I did not have an abnormal pap smear.
So, something that I thought was in my past always causes stresses when I need to have my annual exam.
I know I wrote about this before. It has caused more stress. This past summer I realized I did not get an exam last year because I was having a struggle going.
So, I made an appointment for September but canceled that one and the next 2 appointments because of the stress of replaying my pass in my head.
So, I finally made another appointment and went. But as I was driving to the appointment I started to feel myself getting heavy with stress. I decided to let the triage nurse know that I wanted to talk to my doctor before the exam.
My gynecologist, I have only been seeing about 6 months. But she has been so supportive in the past, so I figured she would be the same now.
After going through triage, and telling the nurse I wanted to speak to the doctor I began to cry. The nurse gave me a hug and then put me in a room.
As I sat there I just started crying. Thinking about when Cee-Cee sat in the waiting room during one of my other exams. So, I realized that I had no one in the waiting room but that did not mean they were not there with me. So, I began naming all my support people and saying that they were there with me. It helped so much.
So, my doctor came in the room. We had a little bit of small talk and then I basically told her about the gang rape and how the ripple effect happened. And my struggle with having an exam done. She was amazing. Very compassionate, and loving. She gave me a hug and reassured me of my struggles.
I am so grateful to even have an amazing doctor to help me through a struggle. We need more healthcare providers like that.
Take Care Much Love.
